February 2005 marks the start of the second season of my life.  God graciously gave me twenty years of fun and success at SDI during the first season.  It culminated in the lucrative sale and integration of SDI into S1 in 2001.  During the past eighteen months, of which I affectionately call “the off-season,” I completed my studies at The Master’s College (TMC) and earned a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Christian Ministries.  And last week, I turned 48!

Celebrating the Past

In early 2003, when I realized my work was done at SDI/S1, I decided to retire.  It was a difficult decision for me, as I was surrounded by co-workers and customers that I love dearly.  But God made it clear to me that He wanted me to retire and go study full-time at TMC.  I obeyed because I sensed God’s clear calling and also to fulfill my long-ago promise to my earthly father to finish college.  Little did I know what God had in store for me. 

These months of study have been exhilarating and wonderfully healthy for me.  While the multi-hour lectures, burdensome assignments, and numerous memory verses were challenging, it brought me great joy.  More than anything else, God used this time to quiet my heart and still my mind from the busyness of business to concentrate on Him and His Word.  Today, I can say with great confidence that during this time, I “put off” many traits of the old self, used His Word to “renew” my mind, and as a result, “put on” many new habits of the heart (Ephesians 4:22-24).

The TMC Christian Ministries Program is truly outstanding!  By my count, I wrote over 100 papers, including a final Ministry Paper, read cover-to-cover over 100 books, and reviewed countless reference books and articles.  Most importantly, it disciplined me to study the Bible every day.  The godly professors pumped me full of conservative doctrine, along with a smattering of practical theology.  The Apostle Paul wisely warned us centuries ago that “knowledge puffs up” (1 Corinthians 8:1-13)!  How true!  With all this knowledge under my belt, when the Pastor speaks of the Golden Chain of Salvation, I instantly open my Bible to Romans 8.  If a Men’s Group conversation gravitates toward the cause of the flood in Genesis 6, my mind dances with the three main schools of thought on who the giants—sons of God—were.  And when the Sunday School teacher casually mentions that the Bible is the inspired Word of God, my mind wanders to the Greek word for God-breathed—theopneustos (2 Timothy 3:16).  As a shot of extra adrenaline and pride gushes through my body, I recall Dr. Hegg’s lasting reminder to the cohort, “we must present the Gospel winsomely.”  Knowledge puffs up, but love builds up!  While I received high marks in school, getting a passing grade in real-life theology is much more difficult.  I have made progress during the last eighteen months, but God’s work in me is on-going!

February 2005 is also the end of my non-compete agreement with S1.  This agreement prevented me from jumping into new opportunities and disrupting my studies.  In His infinite wisdom, He locked me up to ensure a period of silence and learning.  How great are His thoughts and His plans!

My 48th birthday last month was just one more reminder of His grace and mercy in my life.  I am blessed with a Proverbs 31 wife, two great sons, a “love-of-my-life” daughter, a wonderful daughter-in-law, a joyful granddaughter, and one more grandchild on the way.  He has given me a championship first season and a spirit-filled off-season.  My cup overflows with His goodness!  At His pleasure, I may have another twenty years of kingwork—serving the King in my second season.

Enjoying the Present

As my schooling ended, I frantically beseeched God to give me specific directions!  In a chance meeting with a pastor (Kevyn Jones) of a friend of mine (Karen Walker), he counseled me to stop looking for specific calls from God.  Pastor Jones reminded me that Jesus gave all believers two general calls: the Great Commandment (Matthew 22:36-40) and the Great Commission (Matthew 28:18-20).  He recommended that I increase my local church ministry by one (preferably teaching), increase my community service by one, and get involved in one additional short-term missions activity.  I tested his advice against the grid of God’s word and found it to be biblically sound and poetically balanced (Acts 1:8—Jerusalem, Judea and Samaria, and the world).

I am now involved in my local church—Chinese Christian Alliance Church’s Sunday School program.  The leaders have asked me to help facilitate the Sunday study sessions.  In my community, I am now involved with Child Evangelism Fellowship’s Good News Club on the campus of Cantara Street Elementary School.  I help out on Tuesday afternoons in the after-school program and have really fallen in love with these kids.  The rowdy and misbehaving boys remind me of my childhood years and I naturally gravitate toward them.  Interestingly enough, they seem to instinctively recognize that in me as well.  Some of them ask to sit next to me as we go through the program.  I have not made as much progress on the selection of a short-term missions trip.  Several of them interest me, such as an English-teaching project in China, an exposure trip to Muslim nations, and visiting an Aids-infected village in Africa.  I hope to make a decision in the next month or so.

Looking Forward to 2005 and the Future

As my non-compete agreement winds down, I have been approached by numerous friends and colleagues to return to the financial software services sector.  Several opportunities are intriguing.  After all, this is really the only area in which I have ever worked.  I am debating whether to get involved in new opportunities, work individually or for an established company.  I have not decided on a specific course.  While I seek God’s direction and desire to be in His will, I pray daily and go boldly forward.  I trust that He will make my path straight and broaden my way (Psalm 5; 18).

In early 2004, my good friend John Ng recommended that I read a book on the life King David, penned by Eugene Peterson—Leap Over a Wall.  I was bogged down with school work and promised him I would read it once school was done.  This I did in December.  The book offers fantastic insight into practical and daily spirituality.  So, several Sundays ago, when our church’s Sunday School leaders asked me to say a few words of encouragement to our Sunday School teachers for the New Year, I borrowed some thoughts from this book.  The specific text is the story of David and Goliath from 1 Samuel 17.  Please allow me to share these thoughts with you.

The story of David and Goliath is well known.  However, as I read Peterson’s book of the confrontation in the valley of Elah, a number of minute details leaped out at me.  When the Philistine armies initially lined up against the armies of Israel, David was actually not there—he was out tending sheep.  When Goliath singlely challenged the armies of God, David was not there—he was hanging out with his aging father.  David was, in fact, too young to serve in the army.  The only reason he appeared on center stage was because his father asked him to bring bread and cheese to his brothers and the troops.  When he arrived at the front line, delivering groceries, he heard the taunting shouts of the giant Philistine.  It curled his blood.  He asked, “Who is this uncircumcised Philistine that he could defy the armies of the living God?”  While everyone including King Saul were dismayed and terrified by Goliath, David did not lose heart.  The Bible tells us that David trusted God to deliver him.  He went to battle with only his staff.  The roar in the valley must have been deafening as David set out to meet Goliath.  The Philistines must have laughed, while the Israelites trembled.  And yet at that moment, David kneeled down and skillfully selected five smooth stones (Peterson, pp. 39-45).  Everyone in the valley that day was dominated by the giant; overwhelmed by the problem, shadowed by one Goliath.  David was the only one that wasn’t.  Why?  Quite simply, it was because he had a God-dominated imagination.  During the time he herded sheep, he practiced the presence of God.  He practiced it so thoroughly that at this moment, God’s word of which he could not literally hear was far more real to him than the sound of the giant and the armies.  Everyone in the valley that day had a Goliath-dominated scenery; David had a God-dominated imagination.

From this biblical account and Peterson’s insight, I profited two watch points for myself in 2005:

For those of you who know me best, know that I adore stories and imageries.  For 2005, whether I am on the plains of Africa, traversing the backwaters of China, or presenting a crazy software idea in a bank boardroom; whether I am presenting the Gospel, starting a new (ad)venture, or working the counter at the local Starbucks, I am going to think of the bread and cheese and five smooth stones!

May God be very gracious to you and grant you a most fruitful and glorious 2005!

My dear friends (inside and outside of S1),

It has been a little while since I wrote my last Musings.  Partially due to my current retired status, I wasn’t sure anybody really cared to hear from me.  The other half of the excuse was - I was simply lazy.  Luckily for me, Steve Soukup sent a jolt of lightning my way in early January demanding new material.  This goaded me to ponder some new thoughts and update my Web site (through the help of Chuck Jacobs, of course).

I apologize for taking so long to post all the Farewell Party pictures, but they are up now at What’s Up (http://tomshen.net/whatsup.htm). Thank you all for your contributions to this most magnificent gala!  I am grateful and honored.  In these past six months, many of you have sought me out for advice, friendship, and counsel.  The streams of emails and phone calls have kept me connected.  And, of course, the occasional lunches and Los Toros therapy sessions continue to make me feel part of the family. Some of you have even gone out of your way to tell me you’ve “missed me.”  Gonzo Banker, in its December 2003 issue, was kind enough to vote me as the Vendor Face We Will Really Miss (http://www.gonzobanker.com/Content/2003GonzoBankerAwards.htm). Thank you all for missing me.  The truth of the matter is, more than you will ever know, I miss working and the fellowship with all of you!  Whenever God brings to mind the recollections of the late-night thunking sessions, the extreme road trips, the thrill of the victories, the agony of the rare loss, and the exhilaration of satisfied customers, it still brings a silly grin to my face.

Before my retirement, many predicted I would go stir-crazy, or at a minimum, drive Joanna insane inside of six months.  In fact, Charles was willing to bet monies that Joanna would kick me out of the house within 180 days.  Well, I am happy to report that both Joanna and I are still (somewhat) sane and living under the same roof (the grace of God knows no bounds).  That said, I am certain there were days that Joanna secretly thought of tossing me out on my ear. 

I’ve spent most of my time holed up in my home office studying and writing.  I am 12 months into the 20-month Christian Ministries Program at The Master’s College.  Thus far, I have completed 37 units with some 22 more to go.  At the moment, I am still on target to finish the program and receive a B.A. by the end of this year.  I would be dishonest if I said all my classes were/are great and easy.  The truth of the matter is that most of the classes have been difficult, but quite stimulating.  The difficulty comes from my heavy load and the intense demands of the professors.  It is also hard for this short –attention-spanned 47-year old to sit still in multi-hour lectures!  The single most important thing I have learned during these past 12 months is the vastness of God.  Whether I didn’t trust Him more before, or “I” was too large, or some combination of the two, my studies have revealed the largeness of God and His sovereignty, which leads logically to greater worship of Him. By my count, I have written close to 50 papers during this time, averaging almost one a week, ranging from a Synthetic Outline of the book of Ecclesiastes to a Proposal for Three Constitutional Amendments.  At this point, I must note the brilliant editing help afforded me by Lucy.  Without her help, I can only imagine the red marks on my papers!  (BTW, she has edited this Musing as well!)  In these past 12 months, I have read over 100 books, ranging from Grudem’s Systematic Theology to C.S. Lewis’ Chronicles of Narnia.  As most of you know, I love reading; so this part my journey has been quite enjoyable.  To break up the monotony of my day, I indulge in the rare basketball or FreeCell game.  Some days, I even treat myself to a long walk with Joanna.               

Before I move on from my studies, I must mention two classes thus far that have made the most impact on me. The first is Professor Carey Hardy’s (http://www.gracechurch.org/about6.asp) Biblical Counseling class.  It has changed my understanding of the Bible as it relates to human problems, suffering, and of course counseling.  In this course, the students were asked to work on a project to counsel themselves.  Through this life exercise, I gained important insight into my sinful motives and saw the need to be more grateful to God in all situations, for all that I have.  The second class is Professor David Hegg’s (http://www.cefconline.org/staff.html) Old Testament Survey.  I have always been a little bit afraid and confused by the Old Testament (OT).  But in this intense five-week course, Dr. Hegg illuminated the OT in its historical and chronological context.  Thus armed, the OT no longer intimidates me; in fact, he has given me a new love for this treasure of wonderful words and wisdom from God.

In between the long hours of study and short breaks of games, I sneak quick glances at my former space.  Just in these short six months, I am stunned by the massive shift in the financial services space and to a lesser extent, the banking marketplace.  Who could have guessed that Sanchez and Aurum would be sold to the same buyer within 30 days?  And how about the union of JP Morgan Chase and Bank One?  It appears to me that in both of these spaces (of which I used to know a little bit about) the large is buying the medium to create the colossal.  Carl Faulkner writes of this phenomenon and suggests that in a short period of time this space will be divided into four quarters (http://www.gonzobanker.com/Content/CountingDownConsolidation.htm).  He may very well be right.  Is it possible that as the trees in the forest thin out, some sunrays will hit the forest floor?  And will the saplings spring up and thrive?  I don’t know.  We might examine banking history for a bit of guidance.  When this occurred in the banking space, as giant financial enterprises gobbled up mid-sized community banks, small de novo banks rose up and successfully filled a void. 

Some time ago, I had hoped to stay connected with our industry by engaging in some consulting or even Board work. To that end, I have met and spoken with four worthwhile opportunities.  However, either due to their lack of interest or my inflexible class schedules, nothing has come to fruition.  As for the longer term, God continues to be silent.  His silence seems to be a direct reflection of my impatience.  So I wait on Him!  I will do whatever He commands, whether it is to leap into long-term missions, serve in His church locally, slumber into full retirement, or go start a new business. 

Thank you for reading my musings and travels.  I wish all my good friends, especially all the former SDIers all the very best.  If any of you are hungry and looking for a lunch partner, please call me.  I usually answer the phone on the second ring (learned that from an old mentor—Nick.)  If I do not answer, please feel free to leave a message.  I usually get around to returning phone calls with a couple of days.  Oops, I must end now.  The phone is ringing.  “Hello!”  “Oh, it’s Matt Flake!” “WHAT! You are looking for a discount on a teller deal?”